Over-Rated
The only word that defines Valentines Day is the word OVER-RATED.
But I still wish a Happy Valentines Day to all. Its amazing how couples are willing to spend so much money on each other, during this particular season. I'd willingly give my all for her to notice me. To be able to go beyond a basic 'Hi' to an 'I love you'. I thought about it all night, and decided not to make any move today. I wanted so much to able to shower her with gifts and flowers and everything I could possibly think of, but I dare not. My heart yearned to cry out to her and say those three words, but I couldn't bring myself to.
Arrived at school reasonably early today, in the hope that Frances might be there early. When I arrived there, she was already there, with her group of friends. I could only sit down at another table and watch from afar. Her red hair-tie was a change from her usual pink ones. Her school shoes were just washed clean. I reached a point where I could barely stand it anymore. I walked to the canteen by myself. To distract myself from her. When I finally returned, barely minutes from the first lecture starting, my heart stopped. I felt my world crumble again, as it had done so many times before. BOTH of them, walked out of the Student Council Room together. And that was ONLY the start of the day. Of my pain. Of my torture. Of my torment.
The rest of the day was just a blur. Barely saw Frances the whole day. I wanted to concentrate so badly in class, but I could not. She was constantly on my mind and I kept thinking "What if.." What if I had done things differently and approached her? Different situations continuously played around in my mind. My one and only consolation today was the fact that she smiled at me. The only reason why I'm still alive and breathing. My life is still a living hell. When will this all end and turn around a 180 degrees?
But I still wish a Happy Valentines Day to all. Its amazing how couples are willing to spend so much money on each other, during this particular season. I'd willingly give my all for her to notice me. To be able to go beyond a basic 'Hi' to an 'I love you'. I thought about it all night, and decided not to make any move today. I wanted so much to able to shower her with gifts and flowers and everything I could possibly think of, but I dare not. My heart yearned to cry out to her and say those three words, but I couldn't bring myself to.
Arrived at school reasonably early today, in the hope that Frances might be there early. When I arrived there, she was already there, with her group of friends. I could only sit down at another table and watch from afar. Her red hair-tie was a change from her usual pink ones. Her school shoes were just washed clean. I reached a point where I could barely stand it anymore. I walked to the canteen by myself. To distract myself from her. When I finally returned, barely minutes from the first lecture starting, my heart stopped. I felt my world crumble again, as it had done so many times before. BOTH of them, walked out of the Student Council Room together. And that was ONLY the start of the day. Of my pain. Of my torture. Of my torment.
The rest of the day was just a blur. Barely saw Frances the whole day. I wanted to concentrate so badly in class, but I could not. She was constantly on my mind and I kept thinking "What if.." What if I had done things differently and approached her? Different situations continuously played around in my mind. My one and only consolation today was the fact that she smiled at me. The only reason why I'm still alive and breathing. My life is still a living hell. When will this all end and turn around a 180 degrees?
posted by i_lovefrances at 2:39 PM
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